Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit and Valentine’s Advice

It has been a weird beginning to my 2016. How is it for all of you? Are the planets aligned correctly for most of you? I’m thinking something’s a little off for me, but I remain hopeful that it can’t get worse. Right? Right?

I finally went to court for a divorce only to discover a couple days later that there are typos in our agreement, as well as mysterious additions that my ex-husband’s lawyer added AFTER both my lawyer and I had signed off. So Not Cool!

Not actually my ex-husband’s lawyer.

jethro

Not actually my ex-husband but close!

I can only blame myself. Honestly. In the surreal moment of being in the courthouse lobby, watching my soon-to-be-ex sitting next to his flamboyant lawyer with her full-length, shoulder-padded fur coat and two-tone bleached blonde and pink hair, and him in his flannel shirt, flooding jeans, and sloppy sneakers, thinking to myself:

Huh, even HE can’t be so disrespectful of the judge and the court system to come to court like that by accident; it must be a ploy to look poor.

Yes, in that weird moment of seeing my husband as a stranger, I took my eye off the ball and didn’t proofread one of the most important documents in my life.

Me! . . . who has made my living as a copy editor and proofreader for my entire professional life, when I’m not writing novels, that is. And see what happens. We will most likely end up back in court. And I am so over this whole brain-draining, gut-twisting, nerve-fraying divorce.

And speaking of brains, I managed to make mine bleed when I hit my head while riding this monster of a roller coaster — to be precise The Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit (yes, spelled like I am going to feel like a “rock” has bashed me in the head) at Universal Studios in Orlando:

universal studios rockit rollercoaster2

While hundreds of people apparently enjoyed the ride that day in early January, I managed to get a concussion and an actual subdural hematoma. Fun stuff!! Which may explain why I missed the scrivener’s errors and slight-of-pen of opposing attorney in court a couple weeks later during the divorce.

But look at that roller coaster! Why didn’t I vet it and say, “Nah, I’ll pass.” I wouldn’t be sitting here now with the floor under my chair seeming to pitch and roll like the deck of a ship during a squall.

Me and my hematoma sorta look like this, except I do have the front of my skull and forehead, and I have hair and eyelashes. Otherwise, this is totally me:

subdural hematomaAnd over 30 days later since the Rockit, and I’m still enjoying the souvenirs of the trip: headaches, dizziness, nausea. Don’t tell me you don’t get what you pay for with a trip to Orlando . . . long-lasting memories, or perhaps all your memories wiped out if the hematoma was any bigger.

Sad to say, I think the blood clot that is pressing on the upper right side of my brain is less painful than divorce. This Valentine’s Day, as an historical romance writer, I could say a lot of flowery words about love, or I could tell you the history of the Valentine’s Day card.  Instead, I offer these small words of advice from the brain-bruised: Treat each other kindly — whether new love, old love, lost love, or even once-upon-a-time love that is no more. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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4 Responses to Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit and Valentine’s Advice

  1. Only a brilliant writer could take so many disparate experiences and wrap them all up into one clever story, complete with a moral! I sure hope the hematoma goes away by itself! Enough drama for two months out of the year.

    • Sydney says:

      Only a more brilliant writer like yourself would notice how brilliant I am. Ha, just kidding. But we do need to give ourselves a little confidence-booster of praise once in a while. Thanks!

  2. Lin says:

    OMG. This YOU do not deserve. Forgive yourself for not proofing. That’s what you pay a lawyer to do. Get a discount on the fee. Don’t forgive him/her for being sloppy & dismissive. Lawyers tend to be arrogant in my experiences. Don’t write a check until YOU are satisfied and don’t pay all at once. Call me if you need a “wing man”, Syd. I’ll be angry for you.

    • Sydney says:

      Wow, you are all fired up, Lin,and on my behalf. I’m honored! I am certainly too far into this to maintain anger. I am into the “you’ve got to be kidding me” and “I’m so sick of this” stage.

      As for writing the check, alas, that is done well in advance, but I very much appreciate your words of encouragement. You can be my “wing WOMAN” any day.